This post had been posted a long time ago,when I had just started blogging.A few days back I came across one such post,and that had me laughing off my belly for minutes.And I felt like putting uo this post again for you guys.Go on read it and temme what you think.
I don't understand what is it with guys. They are so damn 'chipkooz'.Literally pester a girl to near insanity,trying to be all cool,gentlemanly and everything ; so much so that you feel like blurting out "Do you know the term 'piss off' ? I'd like you to do that now." And at the same time they're such chickens,cant even say outright,"Hey,you're pretty." Perhaps the 'X-Factor' is just a shield to protect their tackiness and nothing more than that.It must have taken a lotta wit for that guy who came up with this word and thus saved the 'Neanderthals' a hell lotta ado to paint their fake male chauvinism,machoism,suavity etc etc.
Sample this :
About a fortnight back Roma and me were meeting up at Cafe Coffee Day about late afternoon . Just before leaving Roma had this sudden urge to pee. She got up,went up to toilet, clicked open the door and lo there was this guy, standing over the toilet, turning around to look at her while at it !! Gosh,it was so embarrassing !! Everyone there was laughing their guts out,needless to say me too.
Now is that understood why men are 'Neanderthals' ?
While paying the bill at the counter we came face to face with them and at the same time everyone was apologising. Anyway,we left and that was it. Come today evening and Roma and me meet again. Everything is fine, we get done with our capuchinnos and leave the place in an upbeat mood. The evening had been good. Outside on the street pavement here I was waiting for my brother that a guy walks outta nowhere and says 'Hi,recognise me?'. Any guesses ? Yeah.........that bathroom guy and that's what I refer him to then, even though deep down, my voice was telling me to say 'Do you think you're some dumb celebrity that people are gonna shout out your name the moment you unveil your stupidass face?'.
Now the convo goes :
"Hi,recognise me?" "Ummm.....that bathroom guy?" "Yeah,right.I'm Nil,and you?" (Smiles and extends his hand,I feel like wagging my tongue and I do when he looks down but take his hand anyway) "Pallavi" (A half smile which is mostly annoyance) "Waiting for someone?" (No,actually Im kinda obsessed with standing by the road eversince I was a child) "Yeah" "I saw your friend leaving." "Yes,my brother has gone to drop her off then he'll come to fetch me." "Ok,I'll give you company till he arrives" (What the f***,I don't need no company,piss off sonovabitch).........a half smile again. "So,what do you do?" (Arrey yaar koi ise leke jao na yaar) "I'm studying architecture" "Where?" (Lets lie.) " CET,BBSR" "Hey you had your annual function yesterday naa?" (Achha tha kya?) "Yeah,I didnt watch it though" "Why ? My friends told me the passes sold upto a 1000 bucks" (Tu jaata hai ya main pathar maaru) "Really ??!! Well I dont think it was worth a 1000 bucks" SILENCE "I work for an AD agency,I'm a copy-writer, I write taglines,punchlines,make documentaries etc..." (Maine puchha kya tereko?tu jata kyun nahi hai kamine?) "Hmmmm...sounds cool" "My boss and me recently worked on 2 documentaries which were chosen for the London Film Festival.....blabbers 2 names". (I don't buy that crap !!) "I think I've read about it somewhere,Times of......" ".........India,yeah." SILENCE "So you stay in the hostel or......" (Whoa whoa whoa..whaddya wanna know man??!!) "I have my family here." "I stay near Khandagiri,you know near that......blah blah blah" (Somebody get me outta here.........waah!!) "No, I dont." "Why arent you native to BBSR?" (F-U-C-K O-O-O-O-O-F-F) "No,actually I'm from Puri" "I have relatives in Puri (ye,ye had to be!!) , I'm from bla bla bla,near bla bla bla" (Look why dont you turn around and bend down,I would really like to do some ass-kicking now) "OK"..............(eyes rolled) "So you come here a lot?" "No,sometimes." "I come everyday,an hour in Forum Mart , an hour here and an hour at Ekamra Haat" (Arre jaa na yaar, kyun khali peeli dimag ka dahi bana raha hai) Just then my phone rings. Thank god. Roma calling.... I recieve. "Raja mujhe abhi chhod ke gaya,uske pahunchne tak lemme give you company" "I already have." "Kya?" "Haan." "Kaun?" "I'll call you later" "OK" Line goes dead.By now I've kinda gotten used to the sucker and wonder when my bro's gonna come. "Its been long ,can I give you a lift?" (A what?) "No thanks, I'm not into that sort of thing." ('He' will cut me to ribbons) "Bad world.......right?Do I look like a criminal?" "Does a criminal have 'I'm a criminal,take me to jail' written on his face?" "No,but you can trust me...c'mon?" (Hey ass***e,why dont you just buzz off and kiddo where the hell are you?) "I said I dont do that kinda thing,its just....you know..." "Ye,ye sanskriti..." (Thankgod,maybe his brain aint all cow-dung afterall or so I thought) Phone rings again. Raja calling.... Thankgod. I recieve. "I'm on this side of the road.Come over." (With pleasure darlingest.) A B-I-G S-M-I-L-E on my face. "Gotta go,see ya" "Nice meeting you" "Same here" "Well..." (Now what) "Do know know that Spanish singer....(rattles some name)...?" "No,why?" "You look just like her. She's gorgeous." (You chicken,cant even compliment a girl you've been talkin to for about a half hour) "You listen Spanish?" "Yeah,she's sung that song 'La is labonita' (I though that was Maddona's). Such a wonder that you look just like her,she's gorgeous." (Mama mia........so much for this ! So whatcha tryin' to temme...?) "Anyway,nice meeting you." "See ya."
One more handshake and I'm thinking perhaps the meeting wasnt so awful afterall.............tee hee hee ;D
P.S: If you're a guy,after reading the last line you must be thinking now, "............girls....huh !!".
This nation never ceases to amaze me (infact all of us who reside here). I mean what on earth is goin' on? What harm can a blogging communtiy do to a nation's democracy...peace...safety...whatever else ?
Its been four days since I cant use my account and that has been killing me at my wits end.Never knew I was so addicted to blogging !! Anyway today my blogfriend 'Diana' sent me a mail that said that it was the Indian government's decision to block Blogspot.I dunno what has happened to other such communities like Zorpia.
I was like blocking a blog due to the serial blasts at Mumbai ???!!! What the hell is that supposed to imply ?? That Blogspot maybe giving secret artillery tuitions to terrorists called 'bloggers' here ??
Hello Mr.Manmohan Singh,what's wrong with you..?? I wonder you got those degrees on your own or through other productive measures that this country you're running now (as a steward ofcourse) offers.And temme was this advice given to you by the same panel of super-duper ultra-brilliant freaks who told you to reserve 50% of seats at the IITs and the likes for the "other backward classes"?
Or did Shiv Sena come to your aid again? I guess it was the wife who issued this warrant this time. They are an amazing lot aren't they? I mean life for them is one big jumbo holiday. No work, nothing fruitful to do and kill time,they just wait for some kinda occasion like the Valentine's Day for instance and then start prancing all around the city like a bunch of legalised terrorists burning,injuring,trafficking,barging,breaking,threatening at their pleasure !!
I dont know what is it with you guys (Yes,you of all the fools who have been pushed up or have grabbed the mantle and claim to be politicians) that you do stuff like these.
And the media ?!!! Another bunch of sick-ass freaks. They are one big theatre,where only masala-stuff is show cased. One incident and every godforsaken channel will be broadcasting the same clip again and again and again. I remember,the Rakhi Sawant clip. NDTV showed it repeatedly for about 5 minutes,incessantly without a break !! Dad and me finally ended up laughing our bellies out. But doing something constructive they never can,they never will.
I dont understand how our country so proudly brags about democracy and liberty. If it does then what does blocking a blog or entertaining quotas in education or breaking Archies' showrooms during Valentine's Day season mean ??
You who call yourself the goverment,the media,the politicians...are you listening ??
"Donot stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there,I did not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle morning rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifitng rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Donot stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there,I did not die."