Saturday, March 25, 2006
I see the houses below.
Its dark all over
and my mind races slow.
I can sense it again,
a feeling dark and eery.
Something is happening
and its not bright and cheery.
Far away somewhere
I can see a faint glow.
Seems like those eyes
again on my follow.
They stare from there and shine
and the wind blows again.
The thing keeps burning,
the lustre doesnt wayne.
A moment and no more,
its a pitch black horizon.
I'm standing yet again
all quiet,stiff and frozen.
The wind still blows,
I feel a smirk in there.
He's laughing,I'm searching
those eyes cold and bare.
Amidst a new tommorrow comes
and the sun dawns on me.
Following my way
I know they shall be.
Once again the curtain falls
and I know they've sat to work.
And again the feeling returns
as the dark outside lurks.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I breathe in the sweet smell of the early morning air and absorb the delicious aroma of a beautiful dawn.
The cool breeze gives me a slight shiver and I pull the blanket closer while I watch the blue sky change its shades and float infront of my eyes while men and women walk briskly below,enjoying the cheerful dawn as much as me.
I look around the room and its still quite with the silence broken by an occasional chirp juxtaposed with slight stirs on the bed and the rustle emanating from the movement in the blanket and on the sheets.
I run my fingers on the skin with a careful feather touch.....a faint quiver in response.My fingers move up to the smooth hair feeling their silkyness in its every strand.A soft touch against the eyes.......a faint quiver again.
The wind glides again and my hands come back to me.My fingers pinch me and my lips curl up in a smile.I look upto the sky again and the people below.I look down to my side and see the face of innocence buried into the bosom of deep sleep.I brush away the hairs from my face and bend down to those lips and place a tender kiss.
Lord,I love this man.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
You cant live with them,you cant live without them.
Like Katherine Hepburn said "I wonder if men and women really suit each other,perhaps they should just stay near by and visit now and then."
Anyway my actual intention wasnt to rant or rattle about these Neanderthals (remember ??) but to talk about a particular Neanderthal who has become the cynosure of my eyes offlate.I just cant help take my eyes off him.
ERIC BANA !!
Good Lord,that finely chiselled jawline,those sparkling eyes,that impish boyish grin and that cute little pair of oh-so-kissable lips !!
I just cant enough that man.
The American sergeant in Black Hawk Down,the brave Hector in Troy the and innocent Bruce in Hulk.
Loved his charisma,his aura of boyish sexual appeal,his language of the eyes,the flair in his body language.God save me,I dont wanna sound like a head-over-heels teenager drooling over her latest celeb crush,but I am and truly though,loving every moment of it.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Being a man means having to fulfill loads of responsibility that you have,towards your family,towards your society and above all towards your spirit.
Having to build up a fine career with all those nice looking GPAs on your marksheets for which you gotta slog on and on.The trauma that comes along when you feel you're not gonna be able to live upto the expectations of your own as well as the whole wide world.The acute depression that you're lead to when you think you're gonna be doomed if you dont get your gait right.
Oh,I cant go on any more.Its too scary for me.
Nobody likes to talk about one's failure.People always like to brag about their successes.We have known great stories about people who have had their share of the mantle of glory.How they tread on,how they made it big et all.But no one speaks of a person who could never make it to his goal atall.And in this cycle we never get to know how hard it is for a person who actually hasnt ever tasted success inspite of making a thousand efforts.How difficult it is to keep falling in life yet having to get up every morn' and look at your face in the mirror and say to yourself "I gotta do it all over again."
Some days back I chanced upon this really close friend of mine.He was a guy I used to look upto,when it came to principles and ideologies.Sheer brilliance was all his personna exuded.
We got talking and suddenly I found,it wasnt the guy I always knew.He had become somebody of whom I was remotely aware of.Depressed like hell for his recent semester results which had brought down his career average,with almost negligible hope that whether he'd ever be able to land up with a good job in future and shattered with the thought of having to loose his love if he couldnt make it soon.
His tears put me in a state of complete shock.I was trying my best to console him that everything would be fine,that he'd be able to get back the grades he wanted,that he would achieve his goal one day,that he would see him tying the knot with his love and that she will definitely wait for him no matter how much long he took to get where he wanted.
But deep inside my gut,God only knows what an emotional turmoil I was going through for myself.I dont have words to describe the terror he had on his face and the maelstrom churning inside me for being unable to do anything for his help other than coming up with good words to soothe his battered soul,other than just praying with utmost sincerity for his welfare and happiness.
It was then that I realised its so tough being a man.
So difficult it is for having to hide your tears coz the whole world thinks 'big boys dont cry'.So hard it is to keep showing to your loved ones that you're okay when you're not just coz to keep them believing that everything's fine and you're not in pain anymore.
I realised,the strong and tough image that they garner is perhaps just a cocoon wrapped around their otherwise weak and vulnerable self to which they are as equally subjected to in times if tryst just as we women are.And that they too need a woman to be their unflinching pillar of support in times of distress without which they know they will crumble just like the way we need a man to lean on.We women atleast can wail as loud as we can when we are in despair and we know that no matter what happens to our careers we always have our man to lean on and live our lives.But the men.....there's no other way.
I wish I was some kinda angel so I could wash away those tears from my friend's eyes except being one of those friends who always have time to offer their weeping friend a handkerchief for their moist eyes.
My heart goes out to every man out there who is facing this bad bad world,working honestly hard to achieve his dreams.And I'm so proud to have men like my dad and my love who share their dreams with me and encourage me to weave those dreams together with them.
Dreams of seeing that smile on their mothers' faces when they tell them "Mom,I did it".
Dreams of getting to feel that hug of their fathers',in that moment of pride that a father takes in his son's achievement.
Dreams of that kiss they would plant on their beloveds' lips which would mean "Now,we can be together,foerever".